What is Mediation?
Mediation is a voluntary problem-solving process. How conflicts are resolved can affect a family’s adjustment to divorce. In divorce, the husband and wife meet together with the mediator to resolve disputes during and after divorce. The mediator works with both parties in a balanced way to assist them in cooperating with each other in reaching agreements.
The mediator helps the parties to:
The mediator does not make decisions for the parties, rather guides the communication process so each party can be heard by the other. It is the responsibility of the parties themselves to reach a final agreement. An agreement is reached only when both voluntarily agree. The outcome of mediation is an informed, voluntary agreement between the parties that does not become legally binding until the court approves it and makes it an order of the court.
Mediation is not marital counseling. If you and your spouse have any doubts about the divorce, you should seek counseling to address those issues. Because the voluntary settlement that the parties reach is designed by them, it is more likely to be carried out without the need for external enforcement or further litigation.
Unlike other types of mediation, lawyers do not usually attend mediation sessions with their clients in Divorce Mediation. Mediation changes the role of lawyers from adversarial negotiators to legal consultants. The parties become the primary negotiators in mediation. The role of the lawyers is to advise their clients throughout the mediation process on their legal rights and obligations.
What is the role of the mediator?
A mediator is a neutral person who is trained to help others talk so that both people can better understand their problems and reach an agreement. A mediator does not take the side of either party, and does not pass judgment on the parties or their problems.
The mediator’s function is to manage the process for the parties. The mediator keeps the conversations going and focused. The mediator sets the tone for the negotiations. The mediator will discourage intimidation, threats or bottom-lining. The mediator can remind the parties to take a more cooperative and less competitive approach.
Family mediators consider the emotions and feelings that the parties are experiencing, which can be a significant obstacle to settlement. Mediation does not mean “giving in” or “giving up”. It provides a positive environment where the parties can find practical solutions that work for both of them. With a trained mediator, each person can trust that he or she is not going to be abused or taken advantage of by the other.
Do I need a lawyer?
Mediation does not get you through the legal process of divorce. Some people involved in mediation retain an attorney to do the legal work and advise them throughout the process. Others fill out and file forms on their own with the help of a Pro Se Divorce group. If the husband and wife are going to be joint petitioners in the divorce, I will provide the forms, assistance in completing them and instructions for filing them with the court. I always recommend to my mediation clients that they obtain at least a one-time consultation with an attorney before signing any agreement reached in mediation.
What if we can't reach an agreement?
The value of mediation does not lie solely in reaching agreement. Sometimes only some of the issues will be resolved. This narrowing of issues limits the time and expense of going to court. Other times the work done in mediation sets the foundation for a negotiated settlement that will be reached at a later time, or the parties may return to mediation after some time out of the process.
Statistics indicate that over 80% of all mediations result in settlement. This is true even where all prior attempts at settlement have failed, where the parties were pessimistic about the prospects of settlement and where the parties have spent substantial amounts of time and money preparing for trial. With such a success rate, it is wise and relatively inexpensive to try mediation. You have little to lose.
More Information:
What is the difference Between Mediation and Collaborative Divorce?
What are the Benefits of Both Medation and Collaborative Divorce?
Groundrules for Participating in Mediation.
